Friday, February 10, 2006


Can I speak to Tom?


I'm looking for some cookie cutters. Got any?

Can you put up some videos of your show on the internet. I don't have a TV, I'm a cookie.



Thursday, December 15, 2005

I got hos. In different area codes and countries.

I'm finna pinch a few bitches from Soldado, you know what I mean?

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I was reading the news and I gots to get a little political here. I ain't gonna pass no judgements on anybody, but I wanted to give President Bush some advice.

I saw this headline, President Bush: No Iraq pullout.

Mr. President, I gotta tell ya. If you're a real pimp you're gonna nut on a towel and pass out or something. Real Gs don't give up the skeet, man. You gonna knock that bitch up amd she's gonna have yo ass for the rest of your days.

And don't think you'll be able to pass it off as anybody elses baby. Ain't nobody over in that part of the world that looks as goofy as you.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Me and my ho

From time to time I get some static from some punk-ass busters claiming my Pimp Hand ain't strong.

Bitches be saying that they never seen me with no ho. They say that all the ladies on my website are just some pictures I ripped off the internet or something.

Well, motherfuckers, let me show you how it is!

Life on the streets

Let this end any speculation you haters might have had.

My Pimp Hand is STRONG, Bitches!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today I hung out with a giant guitar playing frog.

Breakfast in Bed

Where did that bitch buy that shit? We gotsta get some more.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

That's the life of a pimp, I guess.

Today was a good day.

When you're a pimp, especially a gingerbread pimp, just waking up every day is a blessing.

That's why I want to thank the lord for the opportunity to wake up today to breakfast in bed.

Check it, bitches.

Breakfast in Bed

See that skinny bald white mother fucker there?

That's my butler, Jeeves Shortbread.

Better believe it bitches.

So glad to be off the pan, watch out ho's Cookie's coming to get ya!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Don't be jealous cause I've been out on the street slappin' bitches all day.